Let’s be realistic, demand the impossible
Childhood (= Kindheit)
Elena was born after 4 days of labor on July 17, 1998 at 3:51 pm. She was small and thin, but over the course of her first year, she toughened up and conquered the world. Soon after her first birthday, she moved to Cuernavaca, Mexico. There she received a lot of attention, not only because we enjoyed our relaxed time together as a family, but also because she stood out as the blondie in the public buses. At her day-care at the Colegio Albatros, she learned her first Spanish words and would mix them up with the German at home. After a year and a half she went back to Hamburg, where she became a proud sister in February 2001. In Hamburg, she liked to go to day-care, but the transition to primary school and the after school program (“Hort”) was difficult for her. Thanks to the very attentive care provided by school and the Hort, she slowly found her place, shyly at first, but then later, in the trio she formed with Marleen and Sira, she grew increasingly more confident.
Youth (= Jugend)
The start of the secondary school was similar to that of the elementary school. Elena began the 5th grade at the Gymasium Altona, restrained, shy, and often overwhelmed by perceived social pressures. It was important that she knew many of the classmates from primary school, but above all, that she could continue to rely on Marleen. Aside from the exhausting new school start, it was extremely important to Elena to spend a lot of time and energy with Jolly, her mare. Amongst the ponies and horses, she was self-confident. Small and thin, she sat happily on her „fat“ Jolly. After the 5th grade, Elena felt increasingly at home with her classmates. Despite all the critics, the students of her class held together.
During this time period, it was important to Elena that she dress fashionably and that her make-up was just right. However, over time, this declined in importance, and instead, political and social justice issues became increasingly significant to her. With Ana, she joined the Ragazzi of FC St. Pauli (the under-18 fan group), and together they began going to demonstrations and protests. In Lucas, Elli found a reliable classroom friend who stood for the same principles. To her teachers, the No-Person-Is-Illegal top, one of her favorite T-shirts, stood as a symbol of Elena’s views and opinions. Her proposal for the class motto – „Let’s be realistic, demand the impossible“ – was chosen by her class and hung for three years in the classroom above the chalkboard.
Thoughts noted by Elena early 2013:
… In my opinion, everyone can, should or must do something for a more beautiful world in which every person has a laid-back, free, and beautiful life. Is there any reason against doing so? No! If more and more people pay attention to this, then slowly but surely a „better world“ can be created. With slowly, I do think that many things must be changed immediately, but you need time to change the egoistic, performance-oriented thinking of all the people, because it is only when you have achieved this, that humanity will no longer think along capitalistic lines, and global social justice and economic equality can be achieved.
16th year (= 16. Lebensjahr)
Elena’s 16th year began with her 15th birthday, which she spent relatively alone on a language study trip in London. As it so often happened, that year her birthday fell during the summer school holiday …. Afterwards, her birthday was celebrated jubilantly in Wohlers Park. A few days, later on the 4th of August, Edu and Bela celebrated their birthdays with a big party to which Carlos had been encouraged to DJ. Elena was excited because she had had her eye on Carlos for some time. After the party, which had been quickly moved to a nearby park due to complaints by petty neighbors, in the early morning hours over the rooftops of Altona, love sparked. This was the beginning of the happiest time of Elena’s life (quote in one of her schoolbooks: „Every cell of my body is happy“). Carlos and Elli cultivated a beautiful, mutual and solid love. They were often like an „old couple“, even enduring intense clashes, yet finding their way back to each other again and again. Their relationship was always extremely important to them. Despite her relationship with Carlos, Elena valued her friendships and nourished them: for example, with Ana, she attended demonstrations, went spraying and to FC St. Pauli / Ragazzi; in the fall, Lampedusa demonstrations (for refugees) and gatherings against racism in Hamburg; and the 21st of December, the large Flora-Demo, against massive police violence – Flora remains !!!
On Holocaust Remembrance Day, Elena alongside Jan-Philipp Kalla (professional football player of St. Pauli) laid a memorial wreath for the Nazi victims of FC St. Pauli – this was very important to her. Along with Marleen and Lucas, she spent the 10th grade with her old gang. There were many other people with whom Elena liked to party extensively, attend demonstrations and concerts, such as Irie Révoltés in October 2013 or the Zecken-Rap-Gala in January 2014. A culinary special occasion were the menus conjured up by “chefs” Carlos, Peer and Anton for Elena and Marleen. A last Western riding holiday in Andalusia and a trip to Copenhagen were times without Carlos, whom she always missed terribly on those occasions, and with whom she had planned to travel to these places sometime in the future. The most important week was surely the vacation Elena and Carlos enjoyed alone in Prague that April!
In May, Elena returned from the YFU preparatory meeting for her planned year abroad, sad to learn that many couples split up during that year apart, but also firm in her belief that she and Carlos would not break up! Shortly thereafter, Carlos had applied for a year abroad in Peru.
At the end of the 10th grade, the class with their teacher Elena Polasuhina traveled to the Baltic Sea where they camped in tents and all had fun!
At the end of her 16th year, Elli and Carlos, together with Sira, Marleen and some others, went to Scheeßel for their first music festival. Shortly before her 16th birthday, Elena brought her beloved Jolly to her friend Fine in Neuendorf, on the one hand very sad about giving Jolly up, but immensely relieved and glad that Fine, a familiar and reliable friend would be taking good care of Jolly. A last job at the „hay hotel“ in Neuenkirchen, where outside of work hours, she had time with Jolly.
On her 16th birthday, Elli and Carlos went to the Deichbrand. How important these music festivals were to them, with the symbolic festival armbands which she would later not even remove in the hospital. At the last one they attended, the Sommerschlacht in Wakenstädt / Gadebusch, she listened to the punk band Feine Sahne Fischfilet!
A few days prior their departures to Ecuador and Peru on the 20th of August, there was a farewell party for Elli, Carlos and Marleen at the Donnerspark.
Ecuador
On the 20th of August, 2014 it was time. Her flight (Hamburg> Frankfurt) left early in the morning at 6 am. Lucas and Marleen, as well as Sira and Edu said their goodbyes to Elli at the Hamburg airport. Elena had chosen to spend her year in Ecuador because of its left-wing government (Uruguay had originally been her first choice, due to the President and ex-Guerillero Pepe Mujica). After hours of planning and a painful farewell to Carlos, who went to Peru for the year, Elena flew to Ecuador. The flight was not easy, hampered by a 20 hours delay in Miami. On August 23rd, after a connection in Quito, she arrived in Portoviejo to join her Ecuadorian family. The host parents Frella and Wilder and host sisters Vielka and Valeria took her in lovingly. She started school, but after only five days, Elena got sick. Despite antibiotics and various other treatments, her high fever persisted. On September 17th, Elena was admitted to the hospital in Quito. At first, she was diagnosed with pneumonia and treated, an unpleasant experience for Elena since antibiotics were administered intravenously. Elena’s veins became increasingly painful, but she was confident that she would return soon to Portoviejo. On September 20th Christian arrived in Quito. Frella and Valeria also traveled from Portoviejo to Quito for the weekend to visit their hija alemana. When, despite further treatment, Elena did not improve, plans for a return transport to Germany began. On September 26th Anke arrived in Quito to relieve Christian, who flew back to Germany on September 27th. Elena’s condition deteriorated. Nevertheless, Elena remained positive, particularly with the support from Carlos, with whom she talked several times a day!
On September 30th, Elena was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia (AML). Still, she remained confident on the 30th of September, and spent a lot of time on FaceTime with the startled Carlos, assuaging his fears. She wanted to undergo chemotherapy at home, and then finish her time in Ecuador as an exchange student, just as the two had planned. A medical transport on an air ambulance was arranged for the 1st of October, but Elena’s condition worsened that day – the pain became unbearable, her pulse irregular.
At approximately 10:50 am local time on October 1, 2014 Elena died in the hospital.
Goodbye (= Abschied)
The news of Elena’s death shocked all of us. Anke had to deal with a system in Ecuador where relatives are not really allowed to see the deceased, physical proximity to the deceased prohibited, goodbyes are impossible. In addition, formalities for Elena’s return had to be arranged through the German Embassy and the funeral home before Anke – accompanied by our friend Gladys Wittarias, Majo’s sister – left Quito on October 3rd and arrived in Hamburg on October 4th.
Meanwhile in Hamburg, Elena’s friends met in the fan club of the St. Pauli FC to support and comfort each other in their grief. On October 3rd, balloons with goodbye messages to Elena were launched from the stadium in the evening, and a big banner „Elli, you’ll never walk alone!“ was prepared for the home game on the 4th of October. Carlos’s father flew to Peru to bring home his son, Marleen came from England, and three other classmates from Elena’s class also interrupted their exchange year and to come to Hamburg.
On Friday, October 10th, a farewell ceremony took place at Altona Gymnasium, organized by Lucas, Marli and Judith with the teachers. In their speech, the teachers Elena Polasuhina, Dorothea Grusnick and Karin Wiedemann expressed their immense appreciation of Elena, and described how she had matured from a timid 10-year-old to a self-confident 16-year-old.
On October 10th, Elena’s coffin finally arrived in Hamburg and was brought to the farewell house at the funeral home Trostwerk. Trostwerk enabled a private and peaceful grieving process, which had been absent and not possible in Ecuador. Anke, Lia and Christian spent from the 11th to the 12th of October at Elena’s side in the farewell house. Additionally, close friends and family came to say their individual goodbyes to Elena.
Many of Elena’s friends came to visit us. Carlos began painting the coffin. He inscribed the coffin with the text from the song „With you“: „Komm wir reichen uns die Hand und wir werden schon sehen, dass diese zeitlosen Momente wirklich niemals vergeh´n. Es ist der eine Augenblick, dieses vertraute Gefühl, dass uns´re Träume irgendwann in Erfüllung geh´n …“. („Come let’s take each other’s hands and we will indeed see that these timeless moments never really disappear. It is the moment, this familiar feeling that one day, our dreams will come true. „)
On October 22nd, a celebration of Elena’s life took place in the ballroom of the Millerntor Stadium of FC St. Pauli, to which approximately 300 people came to say their goodbyes. Music that had particular importance to Elena was part of the celebration: Neonschwarz „Love will never die“, Feine Sahne Fishfilet “Mit Dir”, Die Toten Hosen „You’ll never walk alone“ and Irie Révoltés „Merci“. Marleen sang „Für Dich und für Dich““ and Ixchel „Heart to Heart“. After the farewell celebration, Elena’s friends stood with their arms linked, singing „You’ll never walk alone“, while the coffin was brought into Trostwerk’s car and drove away. Afterwards, they assembled at the Knusttreppe to remember Elli with fireworks and the YNWA banner.
The cremation took place in Stade on the 28th of October, followed by the burial of the urn at the Bernadottestraße cemetery on Friday, October 31, this time accompanied by guitar music.
„Elli siempre contigo!“ „Elli, you’ll never walk alone!“
Thanks, Karen, for the translation!!!